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Fuck you, Java

March 6th, 2007
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every time i see your ugly little face pop up in my system tray,
i know who to blame for my browser hanging for the past 20 seconds.
how come you are so huge and yet do so little?
can you suck less?

ps. let's see if Apollo can help rid the web of you.

hmm!

  1. everyone
    May 4th, 2009 at 06:22 #1
    Reply

    damn straight!

  2. Derek Nugent
    August 5th, 2010 at 13:29 #2
    Reply

    Dang man what a hilarious post! Such conviction!
    No sitting on the fence hear : )

    Great website many thanks for sharing your genius.

  3. Marco
    September 11th, 2010 at 21:51 #3
    Reply

    20 seconds? u mean 2 hours lol

    i hope the creator of java gets cancer!

  4. Paul Irish
    September 12th, 2010 at 08:33 #4
    Reply

    Hahah hey now..

    James Gosling, I'm sure, is a nice guy.. I actually was on a plane with him when I moved to San Francisco.

    It's not his fault someone wanted to put applets in the browser.

  5. xjc
    September 22nd, 2010 at 07:23 #5
    Reply

    Exactly. Fucking Java bullshit.

  6. Justin
    October 19th, 2010 at 07:25 #6
    Reply

    Amen brotha. Client side java sucks.

  7. Junk
    November 6th, 2010 at 12:40 #7
    Reply

    wow you fucking idiots! you have no idea, I hope YOU get cancer!

  8. DEATH TO JAVA
    December 2nd, 2010 at 06:41 #8
    Reply

    Hilarious post!!! DEATH TO JAVA !!!!!!!

  9. tina
    December 6th, 2010 at 13:17 #9
    Reply

    wtf is java????????

  10. Honzajscz
    December 8th, 2010 at 08:11 #10
    Reply

    Pretty damn right! Go and burn in a garbage collector. Viva .net :-)

    By the way, very cool background canvas!

  11. Just some intern…
    June 23rd, 2011 at 10:28 #11
    Reply

    Ok, so for those of us who are young and new to programming, what are we to make of this? Am I correct to conclude that client-side Java (applets) suck but server-side Java kicks ass? Or, am I to conclude that Java totally sucks.

    I ask because I am at that point where I've learned what I need to know about HTML, CSS, Javascript, and PHP and am now ready to tackle some real languages (C, C++, Java, etc.), but I have to choose one to start with and I'm on the fence regarding C++ and Java.

  12. Jane Smith
    July 13th, 2011 at 20:53 #12
    Reply

    I FRIGGIN' HATE JAVA LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!

  13. maika
    August 12th, 2011 at 15:16 #13
    Reply

    HELL yea

  14. Isclay
    October 4th, 2011 at 16:41 #14
    Reply

    Java is SHIT.

  15. Carefree
    October 7th, 2011 at 05:23 #15
    Reply

    Java is horrible garbage of the worst variety. If I ever run into that knave Gosling I fully intend to club him to death with a checked exception.

  16. johnnyh
    November 20th, 2011 at 12:37 #16
    Reply

    I HAVE YET TO KNOW WHAT JAVA IS FOR OTHER THEN SHUTTING DOWN MY NETFLIX HALF WAY THRU THE MOVIE, ASKING FOR AN UPDATE!!!! YOUR A COLD PIRATE HOOKER JAVA… A REAL SEACOW BITCH

  17. NOT TO KNOW MY NAME
    December 26th, 2011 at 11:02 #17
    Reply

    AGREED! java is cheap keeps sending stop errors and it hates win7 64x
    its fucked evry pc iv ever owned up thay dont know how to make it compatable with windows plus there games are SLOW and cheap looking..
    iu mean comon game maker looks more real then them LOL java are in it 4 the money NOT the work!!! nuff sed

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